Paris Has Issues

By Richard Abowitz
The Movable Buffet

How can I forget the night Buffet photographer Sarah Gerke and I saw Paris Hilton walk into a wall at Jet going the wrong way on her way to the bathroom? Oh, Paris Hilton and her precious bodily fluids. The latest is that Joshua Radin reported on his MySpace seeing Paris puke onstage at Tao after a night of imbibing. She apparently was going to pretend to sing one of her songs while the DJ played it and she acted like anyone else forced to hear her sing. How perfect. Tao is also the club where Paris was rumored to have left another bodily fluid inside a plant pot rather than stand in a long bathroom line. Tao is also the club that her then-underage, then-boyfriend was photographed having what looked to be champagne. So, is it any wonder Britney Spears (pantless!) has gone to Paris Hilton to replace whatever void Kevin's presence has left in her life?