Saturday, December 23, 2006

New Christmas Card

Somebody call Hallmark and tell them to start printing the new revised cards.

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the December solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishees. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jesse,

My City Attorney sent something similar to City staff just this past week. However, as an attorney, his was much wordier with lots more legaleeze, but funny as heck, AND with the same message as yours.

My feelings are that we are WAY too accommodating and need to let our REAL feelings be known. We, as Americans, have been extremely tolerant of those who come over and take our freedom for granted then try to change the way we do things here. It's now time for us to be able to exercise our Constitutional rights and let them know, "If you're going to be here, enjoy your freedom in the way that we do without demanding accommodation. After all, isn't that why you're here?"

Merry Christmas!

RB

Jess Espinoza said...

Rita,
Well said! I agree with you 100%.

Jess Espinoza said...

And a Merry Christmas to you too!

Anonymous said...

Jesse,

Nice to know you're feeling better.

May you and yours be blessed this Christmas season!

RB

Jess Espinoza said...

Hi Rita,
Yes, I'm feeling much better, thanks! How are you doing these days?