Monday, February 19, 2007

Update: New Search Engines To Benefit Pressmen

In order to raise money for the LA Times Pressmen, we have decided to join the stampede and follow the Zabasearch model.

The following searching engines are being designed. For $29.99 per search, we are offering these services: This search enables the user to find out things about themself or someone else that only their Mama would know. Such as: "You never cleaned your room when I asked." "X" often wore the same boxers three times in a row when he was 16." "Who WAS that tramp you brought to your Aunt Bess's wedding?" "That's not appropriate." and the ubiquitous "I told you/him/her/it so." This search engine enables the user to type in any conflict with someone and find the best matching "Yo Mama" insult intended to help you either end or accelerate the conflict you are having.
Problem: "I hate my boss!"
Search result: "Yo Mama is SOOOO fat, you had to work overtime to buy her a barcalounger the size of a double wide. And then, you had to pull permits."
The Pressmen are working overtime to come up with the world's #1 collection of Yo Mama putdowns. We suspect this site will be bigger than google.

Who's Your (sugar) Daddy? This is search engine is for young women who want to date older, richer men.

Padgett Type in "Ed" and this search will find out within a reasonable probability, which bar, concert, party, or awards ceremoney Ed is at.


Ed Padgett said...


The really works! Claims I will be at the Comedy Union after work, to follow with a visit to the Airliner for Ragsta Nites.

Jess Espinoza said...

I'm glad you said "within a reasonable probability"!

Nubia said...

Hey Kanani,

What about "real" women looking for older, richer men?

Real women need love, too! (AND MONEY):-)