In Memory of Bryan Padgett

December 1989 Bryan and siblings

It’s hard to believe three months ago today my son Bryan was killed, which drafted my family and myself into the fraternity/sorority that no one wants to join, the loss of a loved one.

Gilbert and Jean Shea joined our group Sunday after the loss of their daughter Becky, after speaking with Gilbert on the phone yesterday, I could see the similarities our group shares.

Sleeping throughout the night is a luxury you lose, as well as your appetite, and walking in circles is also a trait we share after a death in the family. Many of you probably think I mean we stand in one spot and walk around and around, this is not actually what occurs. After losing a loved one, we tend to attempt to keep ourselves busy, for myself this meant making a list of things I want to take care of at home. Three months ago I would start on one of my tasks, only to decide to do one of the other high priority items instead. But, once prepared to take care of task number two, I would again have a change of heart and move on to a third project, hence walking in circles.

Another similarity we share is the attempt to change our surroundings and friends, not certain why we do this, but it has been noted as a trait by communicating with members of our club. Case in point, Lynn and Artie my friends from high school. I had not seen or heard from my old friends for many years and by change ran into a mutual friend, that informed me the two had just lost their son. I tell myself it was by chance, but I think this was to prepare me for my own son’s death. To make a long story short, Lynn took the buyout his company was offering, and the two sold their home of almost thirty years and moved away. Many married couples divorce after the death of a child, but Lynn and Artie have remained together, I’m happy to say.

At our home we have given away our pool table that greeted friends and family entering our abode, painted one of the bedrooms, and will probably repaint the entire house in the very near future. Our mantle has been transformed into a shrine with pictures and belongings of Bryan’s as a daily reminder of him. If the Los Angeles Times were to offer a buyout for the Operations Department, I will be the first to enlist as another buyout candidate, not because of the things going on in the workplace, just to change my life.

And in closing, may I remind all of you that don’t know what to say or how to express condolences to friends and colleagues that have suffered a loss; give the person a hug, it means a lot when you don’t have the words to say, and your message comes through loud and clear.