New Computer Virus Warnings
The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.
The John Kerry Virus - Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes little purple hearts to appear on screen.
The Bill Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive; with NO memory.
The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to keep counting and re-counting.
The Bob Dole Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
The Monica Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, and then e-mails everyone about what it did.
The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.
The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.
The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, and then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 350 GB.
The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.
The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
The Michael Jackson Virus - Only attacks minor files.
The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy ... then discards it through Windows.
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