Monday, September 03, 2007

Run-on-itis

The online edition has a very bad case of run-on-itis.
As in this unchecked story from the AP:

CHLORIDE, Ariz. -- The family that lost a daughter when she and her sister drove their all-terrain vehicle into 125-foot mine shaft commonly rode in the hills were the accident occurred, a neighbor said today.

Other people also go riding in those hills, which are visible from the family's trailer in this northwestern Arizona community, a collection of homes scattered in the desert, said Seth Johnson, a neighbor of the girls and their family's landlord.

Those are run-on sentences.
Worse, the first sentence makes no sense at all.
The second appears to be both a quote and a description, though I'm not sure which one is which.
I sure hope this doesn't make it into the print edition. It'd be so embarassing.

8 comments:

Nubia said...

You and me both. Sounds like a writer they picked up off the street. No journalism training WHATSOEVER!

I have no training either, which is why I won't quit my day job and go into journalism!

If I had all the facts, I would kindly re-write the piece for him/her:-)

Nubia

p.s. GOSH, I'm enjoying my day off!

Kanani said...

Ha ha! Yeah, I notice more stuff slipping onto the online edition without being checked

Boy, is it hot or what?

Nubia said...

Yup, HOT it is (and that may be an understatement)! Just spent an hour in the pool and will probably take up an offer to go the movie theatre. At least I won't be roasting!

Hope you're enjoying your holiday. Let me know about the plans for the block party. Hell, 1/2 of my garage is FULL of party supplies! I can help prepare for the FESTIVITIES. We'll show up the neighborhood:-)

Nubia

Nubia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kanani said...

Yeah... I'm not planning anything now because it's too hot, and what if we have another heat wave like this? Damned well would kill everyone! Let's see what the weather is like in October.

Nubia said...

LATE October, at that! I can recall major HOT in October from years past!

Works for me:-)

Kanani said...

Better yet, we'll just rent a big meat locker and have it in there!

Nubia said...

If it's anywhere near this hot, a meat locker might not be a bad idea! LOL!