HOLY CRAP...Tissue Issues!!!

It seems the LA Times Oly Plant isn't the only organization stooping to new fiscal lows by replacing half-quality bathroom tissue with the no-quality kind. My organization has jumped on the bandwagon as well, much to the chagrin of the its' female population.

After ROUGHLY two weeks of tolerance, many were compelled to lodge their complaints to the Facilities Administrator and Custodial Supervisor. My complaint reads as follows:

Good morning, Gentlemen,

On behalf of the ladies in my office (and perhaps a few hundred others on the Civic Center Campus), I am sending a formal complaint about the quality of bathroom tissue we are now being subjected to. The 2-ply tissue we had before wasn’t exactly the best quality, but now we’re downgraded to a 1-ply that’s about as absorbent as air and as abrasive as steel wool. This is punishment! Not to mention having to use 4x the amount used previously in one sitting. Pun intended!

Come on, guys…REALLY! Is the City in such bad fiscal constraints that we have to resort to this? Are you trying to force employees to bring their own tissue to cut the provision altogether and save $$? Give us a break and stop WIPING us the wrong way!

Feel free to pass this along to the Public Works Director and/or the City Manager, if the decision isn’t yours to make, but PLEASE don’t ignore!

Regards,

Stay tuned.

Response received:

Hi _____,

As part of the City’s conscientious efforts to go greener, we are using only toilet paper that is “recycled.” You may have noticed that the new toilet paper is made from recycled roofing paper, discarded automotive parts, and old carpeting. Because those three categories of discarded products do not decompose well in landfills, recycling them into a toilet paper product is the responsible and “earth-friendly” way to go.

Okay.. I’ll be serious now… I know that we just sent back a whole truckload that was unsuitable for employee use and I thought we had taken care of the issue. We’ll look at this to see what we need to do.

John

This guy should audition for SNL! Wish they could’ve stuffed a few more rolls in that truck, though. The leftovers are still making their way to our powder room (if you can call it that)!

Update: Mission accomplished!

You should have the “squeezably soft tissue” in there tomorrow…

John